You Are Wrong

Hello fellow followers of Exploratory Surgery. This will be my first post for this blog, and I was hoping to make is special and meaningful, but that all went straight to hell when I was perusing the likes of MetalArchives.com when I had a small conniption. What caused me such great pause and anguish you may ask? He is my new arch-enemy. His name: Darth_Roxor. His job: trolling ass-wipe.

I was just browsing the depths of my favorite metal site, looking up bands I already liked, to see some general information. I happened to be looking at Devin Townsend, whom I like to believe is generally accepted as a “cool dude” in the metal community. I was specifically looking up the Devin Townsend Project, that has released Ki and Addicted!, two spectacular and mind-blowing albums in my opinion. The motherfucker in question gives Addicted! a 20%. Who the fuck does that. Addicted! has culminated 6 reviews including this douchebag’s, and the other 5 reviews average to OVER A 90%! How does this guy get off scoring such a fantastic album so poorly?

Sadly, I have no answer. I only know that he thinks he is “the shit”, when clearly; his time is taken up finding material people like and liberally shitting upon it. I mean, if five other people give this album more than a 90% approval rating, then we can just assume Darth_Roxor is wrong. I mean, his opinion shouldn’t count; it’s not even on par with anything similar. Clearly, he is simply wrong.

“Oh, but Justin, music is subjective, there is no right or wrong answer.” Shut the fuck up, there is. And I bet the people telling me there is a right and wrong in music are listening to Suicide Silence right now and blindly calling it metal. If you have heard Addicted! and have remembered to take the cotton out of your ears and have half a pulse, the album scores an easy 50% off the bat. I personally think the album warrants a score somewhere in the upper 80’s. It takes a special kind of bitter and wrong asshole to troll great music like this.

Darth_Roxor, go away. Nobody learned anything from your opinion. You are wrong. Kindly, go die.

-Brute-

Battle Magic!

"mmmmm Satanic...."

Black metal is the most underground metal subgenre. There are probably people who object to that, but I would like to think that it's undisputed. Clearly, the metal genre that has never broken into the mainstream would be the most underground, right?

A genre which contains themes that would make a devout christian family man vomit. Anti-Christianity (gasp!), nihilism, paganism, satanism, things like that. But what confuses me is how the genre can be so diverse, yet still retain all of the negative stereotypes that a few artists have generously obtained.

Here's an example. You have Burzum, one of the most infamous black metal artists, whose lyrics detail the events of Lord of the Rings. Yet Varg Vikernes, the sole member of Burzum, was linked to a string of church burnings and the murder of a fellow black metal musician. This is perhaps the most infamous and well known event that has given black metal a bad image. You also have Faust, former member of black metal band Emperor, who brutally stabbed a gay man in a park. Of course, since he was in Emperor, it was black metal's fault that he was a homicidal maniac. My point is why does black metal have to take the bullets for the misdeeds of a few dumb ass musicians? Of course you have some national socialist black metal bands, who promote nazi themes in their music. You also have the anti-christian bands who promote, ironically, anti-christian themes in their music. But do these bands represent the genre as a whole?

Let's look at the other side of black metal. You have bands like Bal-Sagoth, whose lyrics deal with completely asinine fantasy themes. I wonder if you can tell by their ridiculously titled song "The Dark Liege of Chaos is Unleashed at the Ensorcelled Shrine of A'Zura Kai (The Splendour of a Thousand Swords Gleaming Beneath the Blazon of the Hyperborean Empire Part II)?" What about the extremely light and relaxing bands whose themes deal with nature and the world? Why is that so bad? I guess what I'm trying to say is, people are really fucking stupid.

By the way, that Eclittica album is very good. You can download if free from their Myspace page so definitely check it out.

"Honour. Commended no longer as virtue.
Yet, shalt be extolled by light's demise."